i'm going to tell you what i weigh, but don't tell anybody...

May 8, 2013

WEIGHT: 127 lbs.

BMI: 23.0

i have recently acquired quite the ass. now don’t get me wrong, i love my big ol’ booty; after all fat bottomed girls make the rockin world go ‘round-but my butt (see what i did there, hehe) has attracted a lot of attention. my family likes to state it every time i come around,”WOW your ass has gotten HUGE”-oh thank you for telling me- i took a little vacation from my body and i hadn’t noticed (imagine the side eye emoji here). of course, along with the new junk in the trunk, ive got a little extra lovin in the handles, and a teensy bit of side boob *sigh*. since this weight gain is harder to hide than it’s ever been, people seem to think it’s appropriate to mention it. some people even find it acceptable to give me dietary guidelines, “do you really think you need that cookie?”, “that’s a LOT of carbs on your plate.” I’M GETTIN HELLA CLOSE TO PUNCHING SOMEONE IN THE FACE. the strangest part is i am in no way over weight, i’m just slightly heavier than i have been before. my BMI is at a healthy number, i go to yoga 5-6 times a week, and i ran a 5K and didn’t die- i’m in decent shape.

now the point of this post isn’t to rant about my weight gain, it’s about reminding us ladies that weight is a unit of mass- but from a very young age, ladies are taught that weight somehow affects our worth as a woman. there is a 3 pound range of perfection, if you’re over that you’re fat. if you’re under you’re sooo anorexic and/or a coke whore. it’s about other women (and men) thinking it’s okay to comment on your weight as if what they think matters. it’s about the pins on pins on pins of girls posting “skinny recipes”, “BIKINI WORK OUT”, “lose 15 lb with our juice cleanse”. it’s about the Abercrombie and Fitch CEO being comfortable saying his clothes are only for “thin and beautiful people”. Seriously?

i never thought i suffered from this weird weight delusion most girls suffer from, but i do. i have found myself recently taking those “big ass” comments to heart. i wear baggy sweat pants whenever possible, i’ve even wore 2 pairs of spanx on a date (super uncomfortable, i don’t recommend it. very hard to pee.). looking back, i have never, ever been “happy” with my weight. i have covered muffin tops that weren’t there, I have jiggled arm fat in disgust that was not actually arm fat, but skin. i am so used to being self conscious of my weight that i never even noticed it. it doesn’t matter what weight we’re at, we’re constantly trying to look thinner. ladies WHAT GIVES?!  can we all decide to stop letting a stupid number run our lives and be happy with our awesomely unique, curvy bodies? these bellies and hips will carry children- these bodies are marvelous, incredible machines, WHY THE HELL ARE WE GLORIFYING SKIN AND BONES, and why are we constantly critiquing one another?! clavicles and hip bones are not sexy, CONFIDENCE is sexy. HEALTHY is sexy. YOU ARE SEXY!

So let me be the first to declare it: i am not ashamed of my weight. i will no longer mumble it in the doctor’s office, i will not be embarrassed if my jeans are a little snug, I WILL EAT THAT DAMN CUPCAKE IN FRONT OF MY DATE IF I WANT IT! i will gladly, and shamelessly post my current weight on the internet for all the world to see. JUDGE ME.

and the next time someone mentions my big ass i will respond with what i’m really thinking, “i know, it’s freaking awesome isn’t it?”

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