My first (and last) Trayvon Martin post.

Jul 16, 2013

I threw a fit last night, called Kyle crying and ranted and ranted and ranted while he patiently listened. I had spent way too much time on the internet all day, and was sickened by humanity (this always happens when I spend too much time on the internet- it's like the stupid people watering hole.). I couldn't stop reading the things people were writing regarding the Trayvon Martin case. I read things that made me cry, I read countless things that made no sense. I saw excuses, and hatred. I rarely saw compassion and concern.

Now this post isn't meant to be a pity party for any race. It is meant to stir empathy and awareness to things that many people have never thought of, things I would have NEVER thought of. It is to remind you that we are all human beings who want to keep the people we love, our families, our friends safe. To give them the same sense of comfort and security in every day life that other citizens (myself included) feel. It is to bring light to the problems that so many people refuse to acknowledge. Problems that many swear don't exist.  (It's easy to pretend something isn't happening when it's not happening to you).

I'm not pretending I know what happened the night Trayvon Martin was killed. I don't know, YOU don't know- the only two people that know are George & Trayvon. My problem is not that a white man killed a black boy (I don't care how tall he was, how strong, or big he was, if he smoked weed, or played with guns, legally and medically he was a CHILD. Period.). My problem is not with gun control. My problem is that because the boy who was killed was black, the police didn't open a proper investigation. The state of Florida treated Trayvon's life like it didn't have value. The state of Florida used a misconception and stereotype and decided that Trayvon fit the bill as the aggressor so they wouldn't even look into the case. I don't care if the two of them were any combination of races, someone was murdered and he deserved justice. I'm sick of seeing people post images of of white kids who got killed by black men asking why Trayvon's case is any more important than theirs.  I researched every. single. one. of the cases I saw posted and 100% of their murderers were tried and jailed immediately. It has NOTHING to do with which race murdered which, but that apparently in this country some lives are more valuable than others.

Kyle and I have had countless conversations over the years about something like this happening to him. We talk about it so much it has taken on a "joking" quality. We talked about how he should never get a concealed weapon permit, because even though it would be legal for him to carry a gun, if a cop ever found one on him he wouldn't be treated as though it was his "constitutional right". We talk about him walking around my neighborhood with his hood up at night, because it wouldn't make him look like he was cold- it would just make him look suspicious. We discussed if it was a good idea for him to paint his face (and wear a hood) for halloween to a concert. We have these conversations and concerns all the time. We had them long before Trayvon Martin was murdered. Some people think this is an overreaction, they play it off like I'm crazy for not wanting him to do X,Y,Z because he's black- but most of those people have never had to feel the worry that I (we) feel.

I am a white woman who would have never thought of any of these things if I wasn't with a black man. I would have empathized with Trayvon's family and been sad they lost their son but I would have never understood what it feels like to worry that the person you love might not come home because of the color of their skin. It is a real fear, it is not an excuse, it is not "pulling the race card"- it is an honest to God fear.

I'm glad that most people don't have to worry about this. It's a blessing that those things don't have to cross your mind, but for millions of others in this country it's real. When they say "Trayvon is my son" THAT is what they mean. They have stayed up at night worrying that something like that might happen to their child before this case EVER happened. It is a problem. We cannot sit by and allow this to continue because it doesn't effect the majority of the country. We need to work together to create a comfortable and safe society for everyone. It won't happen overnight and it won't be easy, but we CANNOT continue to sweep the elephant in the room under the rug.

UPDATE: I saw this tonight. THANK YOU INTERNET- hope for humanity!!!!!! Kids get it, can we???

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