stop this train, i wanna get off and go home again.

sometimes we dont realize what weve got ‘til its gone. were constantly chasing the greener grass and we tend to overlook all of the beauty right where we are standing. heck, dont you think ariel wakes up some days, rolls over to eric’s morning breath and thinks “i traded in my fins and flounder for THIS?!”. were humans and are decision making skills are shaky at best, especially mine.

leaving was easy. i tricked myself. i left quickly, like pulling off a bandaid. i didnt say goodbye, i just got on a train and left.i didnt go back, i couldnt go back for a long time. i knew as soon as i stepped back into my comfort zone they’d have to drag me out kicking and screaming. and thats just what happened. somehow i thought i could ween myself off of it, “ill visit now and then” id tell myself. not so easy. there is no good way to explain what that city does to you. there is nothing you cant do. jay and alicia didn’t lie to you- i promise. i mean if you wanna be a one legged clown with purple hair and a nose ring and sing chinese folk songs theres a good possibility you could be an exhibit in MOMA and become a millionaire. no dream is too little or too big…or crazy.

i miss the friends i had. the incredible, amazing, uniquefriends i had. i miss chasing cabs at 1 in the morning on halloween. i miss dirty water dogs. i miss the sounds-how its so loud, but so quiet all at once. i miss ordering food at 5 in the morning, well just because you could order food at 5 in the morning. i miss getting lost and discovering an entirely new neighborhood unlike anything you have ever seen before. i miss that discovering new places never stops, no matter how long you live there. i miss 8 million people being my neighbors. i miss hearing 10 different languages in a day. i miss metrocards. i miss soho runs starting with scoop and finishing with pinkberry. i miss the brooklyn bridge. i miss the teeny tiny baby miniature rats that you only see on the PATH tracks. i miss walking through washington square park being “conspicuous”. i miss falafel. REAL falafel…”with chicken, instead of the falafel”. i miss the seaport. i miss the met. i miss taking pictures of trees for HOURS in central park. i miss the forever 21 in union square. i miss $8 dollar spice lunch specials…hell i just miss the availability of thai food…and ethiopian food, and french food, and lebanese food for that matter. i miss $5 tuesdays at yankee stadium.

“home is not where you live, its where they understand you.” i dont think theres a better way to put it. i just wanna go home.