27 weeks

I had a major realization the other day. The baby had an unusually quiet day. He let me sleep through the night with no jabs or kicks, and didn't move all day (even after I panicked and drank a large hot chocolate, a few cookies and and a bowl of fruity pebbles to see if they sugar would help- in retrospect, I may have over did that part...). Needless to say, I was in a panic. Like any first time mom, I called my midwife three times and paced around my house shaking my belly and calling my mom over and over to ask what she thought. Everyone assured me he was probably fine and just needed a rest day. I sat on my bed crying "But what if something's wrong??". Just then, KICK, JAB, ROLL, FLIP. The kid was back to his usual routine. He was totally fine. Just needed a rest day. sigh.

Before, I thought excessive worrying/thinking about how my baby was doing/feeling/thinking all day and night was just a part of pregnancy- but at that moment I realized I will be absolutely, completely consumed with every aspect of this child's being for the rest of my life. My sole purpose is now worrying and making sure this kid is okay. It's not even something I had to learn, or train myself to do. It's so engrained in being a mom your brain just flips a switch when you get pregnant and you can't help but be consumed by your baby. It sounds really obvious, but I can't begin to explain how intense it is. I am kind of in awe of how much I feel for my son, and he's not even born yet- I am actually afraid of how much I am going to feel for him when we meet. My heart might explode.

Now I totally get why my parents call to check in a million times. I get why they made me wear a helmet and wouldn't let me do a flip off the diving board. Why they asked me "Where are you going? Who will be there? When will you be back?". I don't understand how they ever let me get in a car, or go away to college. They worry not because they're annoying human beings put on this earth to ruin all of my fun, but because they are built to. And now I love them even more for it.

Needless to say, the whole 'this pregnancy thing is going to end with a baby' is becoming more apparent. We started pregnancy classes at the hospital, toured the maternity floor and started his nursery. We have less than 3 months until our baby boy is here- and I'm starting to get antsy. Sometimes I just hang out in his nursery, just because. Is that weird? A few weeks ago I was really into "enjoying every moment of pregnancy and not rushing the process", but now I'm just like "APRIL HURRY UP AND GET HERE, I NEED TO HOLD MY SON".

Want to see a magic trick? Now I'm pregnant...

Now I'm not.

How far along?  27 weeks. LAST WEEK OF THE SECOND TRIMESTER! I can't believe how fast the second trimester went. Probably because I actually felt like a human being again for most of it.
Total weight gain/loss: +5 pounds!
Maternity clothes? I really need a maternity coat. My regular coat no longer zips over the bump.
Stretch marks? None.
Best moment this week: Hearing baby's heartbeat at my appointment a few weeks ago. It's gotten so loud and strong. Also, whenever he hiccups- cutest thing in the world. 
Miss Anything? Hot yoga. Back sleeping. I'm considering caving on the runny eggs. Would it make me the worst mom in the world?
Movement: I definitely felt a defined foot the other night. He pressed it up for long enough I was able to really run my fingers over it for awhile and it was definitely a little foot. I squealed an actual squeal. MY BABY HAS A FOOT, OMG HOW CUTE.
Food cravings: So much grapefruit in this house. I also found Cara Cara oranges at Trader Joe's, which are MY FAVORITE. No complaints, could be way unhealthier cravings.
Anything making you queasy or sick: NOPE! :)
Have you started to show yet: Oh yes.
Labor Signs: No.
Belly Button in or out? I can't even with my belly button. It is definitely permanently disfigured. Is post pregnancy belly button reconstructive surgery a thing?
Happy or Moody most of the time:  Happy with a lot of random crying while I'm awake. According to Kyle, I'm a beast when I'm sleeping- apparently, I threw a dog off the bed the other night (he's fine.....)
Looking forward to: I'm super excited about birth classes. I have no idea why. Just let me be excited about it.
Gender: Still a boy...
Wedding rings on or off? Still on.
Favorite Development this week: He's dreaming now!  



SEE YA IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER!!!!

24 weeks!

I'm starting to feel like a small whale. Not a full blown one yet, but a small one for sure. Sometimes I forget I have a belly and try to squeeze through places and get stuck (not a joke). I also squat down and can't get up without calling for help (wish I were joking) . I'm falling a lot, too (this one's not really a surprise ...) . Let's just say these last few weeks have been spent adjusting to my new figure, which totally throws off my balance. 

Little guy is a total maniac and I'm obsessed with him. If it weren't normal and expected for mothers to be absolutely, loony-tunes in love with their kids I would say it was borderline weird how much I love him already. Before, his due date was so far away I was okay waiting, but the closer it gets the more inpatient I become. I keep coming with all of these "time warp" countdowns like, "January doesn't really count because it always goes by so fast, and February is a short month anyways and he's basically HERE in March, so we REALLY only have like 4 weeks left...". It seems to be holding me over for now, but I have no idea how I am going to wait until April. Luckily, we started the nursery, so that should keep me preoccupied for some time. 

How far along?  24 weeks. This trimester has gone by so quickly, and overall, I've really enjoyed it. 
Total weight gain/loss: WE'VE OFFICIALLY GAINED 4 POUNDS THIS PREGNANCY!! Which is VERY exciting. Weight has been funny for me- I was stuck at 118 pounds for awhile and realized that I no amount of fruits and veggies and greek yogurt was helping me gain weight. I'm generally just not hungry enough to eat as much as I need to, so I decided I needed some help from some junk food to put on some weight- eating extra servings of dessert and switching to whole milk has been so awful (not). We're now gaining weight steadily which is also strange to process- as much as you know it's good for you and the baby, gaining a pound or two a week is a difficult concept to wrap your head around.  I am happy to have my bump AND I'm starting to grow my butt back WOOHOO! 
Maternity clothes? I put on a non-maternity t shirt this week and my 4 or 5 inches of my belly stuck out at the bottom. I found it extremely amusing. 
Stretch marks? We're still in the clear!!! I do have a few scratches on my belly that randomly appeared, I think from running into things with this huge bump all the time (sorry, baby).  
Best moment this week: All this movement. I love feeling him in there and I get lonely when he goes to sleep. WAKE UP AND PLAY WITH ME! 
Miss Anything? (still) Hot yoga and runny eggs. BACK SLEEPING. Can I just keep this the same until I deliver and then I'll post a whole glorious post, about my first experience of runny eggs and hot yoga. 16 WEEKS  LEFT OMG.
Movement: He's getting big enough that I can ALMOST distinguish body parts in his movements. I can definitely feel his butt and back when he curls up and that is amazing. He balls up on my left side a lot when I sleep and I "hold him" in my hand and it is the most amazing thing in the whole world. 
Food cravings: Citrus. I really, really, really love grapefruit. And sweets. 
Anything making you queasy or sick: Some more prominent nausea over the last few weeks that comes and goes, but this may be related to some possible gallbladder issues I'm having (I have a theory the kids bored in there so he's trying to mess with all of my organs one by one). As long as I can keep eating, no complaints.
Have you started to show yet: I love my bump. While I was Christmas shopping I had my first strangers point out my pregnant belly, which was actually really fun. It becomes a lot more real when other people can tell you are expecting a child and not just a little chubby from the holidays.
Labor Signs: No, but lots of braxton hicks. So if you see me and I'm not drinking water, yell at me!! 
Belly Button in or out? It's still just stretched. In fact, it's so stretched I feel like it's just going to pop open. 
Happy or Moody most of the time: I cry a lot lately. Over really ridiculous things. 
Looking forward to: I really want to kiss his toes. Toes, specifically. His little feet keep kicking me and I want to kiss them. So I'm excited for his arrival in April so I can kiss his little toes.  Being a mom makes you so weird. 
Gender: Hopefully he's still a boy in there...
Wedding rings on or off? Still on.
Favorite Development this week: Baby is really just getting fatter and smarter in there these days. 

I can't believe we only have 3 and a half months left!! 

21 weeks (already?!)

**we had to skip a few weeks to help me keep the gender a secret until our reveal on thanksgiving!! 

Kyle and I were laying in bed last night, our little baby boy being particularly rowdy practicing his flips, rolls and dives in my belly. "You know, the nursery is really far. I don't know if he should sleep in there all alone" I said. (The nursery is directly next to our bedroom, maybe 4 steps away from where I sleep). "Okay," Kyle said, "well he's going to sleep in here when we first bring him home anyway".

"Well obviously, but I mean like, I don't know if he should sleep in his own room like ever, maybe we should just knock the wall down and make it one big room and we can all share it" I answered. Kyle didn't have much else to add to that conversation. 

Needless to say I'm getting pretty comfortable with baby boy in my belly. He's nice and close, where I can keep him safe, and he's so warm and cozy in there, and I think he likes listening to my voice all day. I'm okay with him coming out of me, but I think I might take "attachment parenting" to a whole new level. I mean, the kid can fit in one of those ergobaby carriers until he's like 4 right? And maybe I can home school. And he definitely doesn't have to go away to college, right? Right????

I am so very in love with him already. I never thought I'd enjoy sharing my body with another tiny person so much, but honestly it's the most amazing experience ever. He is SO, SO very active. I love feeling his little kicks and jabs all day (and night). It's incredible how his little flutters have become these strong, defined movements- and it's still so early. Although, if he continues to gain strength at this pace I have a feeling his kicks and jabs will become less pleasant, especially when he kicks my bladder. I feel like we're buddies already, and the more I feel his movements the more I learn his "personality" and I absolutely love getting to know him. A few things I've learned about my son so far:

-He really likes when I eat puppy chow. LOTS of puppy chow (maybe I just tell myself this because I really, really like puppy chow). I suppose he could just be hopped up on sugar after the puppy chow, but for now I'm taking the excessive kicking as a "Eat another bag, mom!"
- Sam Smith. Again, the excessive kicking during my singing could be taken as "OMG make her stop singing it's so horrible", but I am going to take it as "Mom, your voice is awesome, play Not The Only One Again, and this time SING IT LOUDER!!!" 
- He likes to sleep on my left side, all rolled up in a little ball. It's absolutely adorable to feel him, but also very strange to actually feel/see a ball sticking out of the left side of my stomach.
-His daddy was talking to him with his face on my belly and used kind of an obnoxious silly voice and baby kicked Kyle in the ear. Totally something I would do, so I feel like we bonded over that.

How far along?  21 weeksTotal weight gain/loss: Still down, but were getting really close to breaking even! Maternity clothes? I love them and don't think I'll ever go back to normal people clothes. Ideally, I would not wear shirts/pants that cover my belly. I really feel like it needs to breathe and it's totally suffocated by clothing. If it were socially acceptable to wear crop tops while pregnant (apparently it's not...) I totally would. #freethebellyStretch marks? Not yet, hopefully not ever. Best moment this week: Movements becoming regular. It's really nice having constant reminders he's okay in there. 
Miss Anything? (still) Hot yoga and runny eggs. Movement: So much movement. He is supposed to be "asleep" 12-14 hours a day, but I don't think he stops moving enough for that to even be possible. The kid is a maniac.
Food cravings: I'm still in love with pizza and hot chocolate. But was there ever a time in my life when I wasn't in love with pizza and hot chocolate??
Anything making you queasy or sick: A little sick in the mornings again, but absolutely nothing to complain about.
Have you started to show yet: I've got a nice little bump for 21 weeks. My mom looked at me the other day and said "Oh god, you're going to be a WHALE!!!!" ....looking forward to that.
Labor Signs: No. But I think I got my first braxton hicks the other night while decorating the tree. Definitely my fault for not drinking enough water that day.
Belly Button in or out? My belly button is a scary place right now. Very stretched. It's actually just flat. Not a fan.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy. Giddy and giggly even. Until I'm not. Then I cry a lot. Hormones, man. 
Looking forward to: Honestly, for the first time in this pregnancy I'm happy to be just where I am.
Gender: It's a boy!!!! We found out at our anatomy scan at 19 weeks. He was very cooperative this time and immediately showed us what we needed to see. We are so very happy (we didn't really have a preference to begin with). It's exciting to imagine all of the things our son will do and be! I am definitely excited to have a little mama's boy and maybe (if he wants to) a baseball player. Wedding rings on or off? Still on.
Favorite Development this week: I think the baby "startled" for the first time this week! Something woke Lola up and she was laying on my belly and barked. The baby punched/kicked right when she barked. It was fun to see that maybe baby is starting to react to the outside world. 

Hey! We're more than halfway there! xo. 

17 weeks

Someone asked Kyle and I how much of our conversations with other people are baby related. We laughed and said all of them. Really about 99% of Me and Kyle's conversations with each other are baby related. We're totally baby obsessed. And as strange and (I'm sure) annoying it is for everyone else, we can't help it- we're totally consumed with this awesome thing we made. It's our life. It's the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think of before I fall asleep (usually with my hands on my belly to feel it move around). It's hard to explain until you experience it. I am kind of in awe of how much I love this little human in my belly already, how fiercely I want to protect it, and how much it has changed my life already.

Look at me, changing things up, FRONT BELLY instead of side...

My favorite part of this last week is how we are both starting to become more "aware" of each other. I am starting to feel much more of baby and baby is starting to hear me and react to it's surroundings. I think it's so incredible that we are able to bond with each other months before we get to meet. As much as I am wishing away the weeks so April can get here, I am realizing that this is super special time. I get to spend every moment with my child. We're so close that when I am happy, my baby can feel it, when I'm scared or sad, my baby can feel that, too. I will never get to share my feelings and experiences (and all of my bodily functions....) so closely with another human being as I do with my children, and that is really, really cool. I also realized that as soon as this baby comes out I am going to want to completely stop time from moving. I am going to dread watching my baby grow up. So instead of counting down anxiously until April, I am going to enjoy every second we have together during this time.

On another note, I look and feel like I ate 3 entire chipotle burritos (WITH guac) at all times. I am perplexed and petrified that this baby is going to get bigger. There is no more room for it to grow any bigger comfortably. Key word being comfortably. So I suppose I am just realizing it's going to keep growing and start getting pretty uncomfortable up in here.

How cute is my peanut?...the outline of my peanut.

How far along?  17 weeks (end of month 4) 

Total weight gain/loss: Still in the red 5 lbs, but it certainly doesn't feel it anymore.

Maternity clothes? Yes. We're officially out of regular pants and bras. Also, BIG fan of maternity pants. I highly recommend them to all whether you're pregnant or not. SO much more room. 
Stretch marks? Still good here. The itchy skin is still going strong. I am bathing in coconut oil but it doesn't seem to be helping. 
Best moment this week: SURPRISE PEEK AT BABY!!!  My midwife was kind enough to give me a quick peek of baby at my appointment on my birthday (best birthday gift ever). I CANNOT believe how big baby has gotten since we saw it last (12 weeks). As usual, baby moved the entire time (flips, rolls, arms stretched, waves, hiccups) and very carefully hid its girl/boy parts from mom so I wouldn't even be tempted to find out the gender. It was incredible and I'm still giddy just thinking about it. I still can't believe there is a fully functioning little human in my belly. 

Miss Anything? Hot yoga. 
Movement: We knew baby was active from doppler and ultrasounds, and now mommy gets to FEEL how active my peanut is...all day and night. Baby even woke me up the other night with a nice kick?roll?punch? It's getting strong so fast *proud mom brag*. 
Food cravings: Pizza. All day. Every day.
Anything making you queasy or sick: I didn't get sick ONCE this week!!! WOOHOO!!!! Car rides and mornings are still a little rough, but feeling sooooo much better!
Have you started to show yet: It's gaining momentum. I feel like if it keeps growing this fast I'm going to be a whale by April. 
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button in or out? Still in, but Kyle looked at it and said it's changing shapes. Also, the scar on my belly button is starting to stretch. It's not too pretty. 
Happy or Moody most of the time: Complaining a lot, but very happy.
Looking forward to: Our anatomy scan next week! More baby watching time? Yes please. 

Gender: We've been calling baby he still. I honestly can't even describe how indifferent I am to whether it's a girl or a boy. Just give me a healthy baby, I'm obsessed it with it either way. I kind of just want to know because I feel like knowing the gender somehow makes it more "real". We'll see if I cave and find out in a few weeks (if baby will cooperate, unlikely). 

Wedding rings on or off? Still on.

Favorite Development this week: Baby's bones are getting harder (you could see them so clearly on the ultrasound) so we should get some super good kicks soon. But then again, with babies crazy activity I don't know why I'm so anxious haha. 

Til next week, xo.